D'awh!

This is me when me lovely boyfriend tells me he loves me:

This is me when I tickle him:

When he tickles me:

When he tells me he loves me more:

Future.

Truth be told, my future tends to scare the shit out of me.

It's so... uncertain, and unclear.

Kind of like a dark room with a dim light, casting shadows that create irrelevant fear.

I don't know what I want to do with my life. 

I don't know if I'm going to be able to own my own house, or even provide better for any possible family I may have.

and that's scary.

favorite?

My favorite pokemon: Garchomp!

:D

Ah, Graduation!

Throwing our caps!

I'm dying.

I can't take a picture without looking stupid, especially in my hair dying shirt. -.-

Gosh.

But, I am dying my hair, once again. 

Auburn or some shit like that. 

Let's hope it turns out okay.

It's not too much different, but lighting changes the way it looks.
(ick. no makeup? FFFFF)

Best.

Today is full of wonderful things, literally!

Graduation is today, and I can't believe that I am graduating high school. It absolutely wonderful. 

I'm incredibly proud of all of my friends that are doing the same thing today.  

Graduation parties are everywhere, no doubt it will be a great beginning to summer.

On top of graduating, I have the best boyfriend, ever. 

Uhh, he's simply amazing.

Last night, was perfect, and I couldn't have wanted to anywhere else.

A little campfire, some s'mores, a beautiful night. 

Literally perfect. 

Good News, and Great News!

The good news is, is that I start work at Microtel on the 19th of June (Which also happens to be my birthday.)  It's pretty spiffy, since, I really needed a job that I could work 8 to 4 throughout the week and possibly weekends. (I really need some money for college books).

The great news is, is that I graduate Williamson Jr./Sr. High School on Saturday, June 16th.  It's spectacular and wonderful and also very scary.  It is what it is, I suppose!

Oh good God!

Coming to the realization that you have become one of those girls that post silly things about love, and even sillier things about the person she loves is almost horrifying. I always hated those stupid girls, who were always happy in a relationship. Of course, it might of been because I was jealous that they had someone who made them happy. Now I completely understand!

So. You guessed it, I'm probably going to post a million little things that make those silly little girls, who simply don't understand, angry. :D

The notebook, for sure! <3

                                       

    

          

ajfkdlajkflad

Found the sketchbook, thank goodness! (:

love!

Since I know he'll eventually see this,

It keeps seeming completely possible that he is the most amazing guy I've known, much less loved.

I'd write a bunch more to explain, but I can't possibly find the words to even start to make anyone understand.

It's been about a year since I first started hanging out with him.  

I  never dreamed that we would even get along, much less that I would ever be in love with him.

Incredible. Fantastic. Amazing.

Those aren't even close. 

Damn.

I've never known anything like this, at all.  He's like my best friend, and it doesn't matter what we're doing, I just enjoy being with him. I think he's so funny, and sweet, and not to mention gorgeous.

There is not a single soul who could make me smile the way he does <3.

I couldn't imagine even wanting anyone else. 

I want to scream.

I don't understand addiction.

I don't understand how it works and why it can control so much of someone's life.

Like honestly, I can't believe that my very own mother would fall back after just being great for a month.

After doing all this work.

Spending all this time thinking.

And not once does she think of the consequences that she not only puts on herself, but her daughter as well.

I'm angry. That's my first emotion, I think.

Then sadness, thinking maybe I could have changed something.

maybe then a depressed feeling, wondering where the hell things are going wrong.

Sometimes I just want to say "I'm done with your bullshit"

but I can't do that, she's my mother. 

My flesh, and my blood.

I just don't know how I'm supposed to be strong when I was never taught how.

Last full week of high school!

Has caused me to severely hate Williamson High School.

I just want to be done with it! Give me my finals, give me my diploma, and I'm out of here! 

Christ, they just drag it on, to make it terrible. Luckily, I only have to go til Wednesday of next week.

Thursday is Senior Breakfast, (at the Cracker Barrel!)

Friday is nothing,

and Saturday is graduation!

Yes!

Take it as you will, and I'm sorry for the horrible picture quality.
It's Medusa! I think I may (just might) take my time and use my nifty prismas to color her in.

Finally some art!

She's a bit misproportional, but no worry, she's a fucking snake woman, she doesn't have to be correct :D

so much time.

Just... take it for a moment, I'm going to go all sentimental and girly.

13 years ago and when I was five, I walked into my first day of school.  I don't remember then, but I'm pretty sure I cried for my father.  I couldn't bare for him to leave me there.  After a few days, I made friends, and pretty soon, I was excited to go to school everyday to see my friends.

I kept these friends for the next 13 years. Some have changed, others have stayed and some even moved away.  I don't know how it happened. I mean, I don't know time passed so quickly since I was 5.  I never dreamed graduation day would be so close. So touchable, when it used to be so intangible. I remember the day I graduated from 6th grade.  I received a medal to wear around my neck and I was so proud! Finally, all the stupid years of elementary school were over.

Little did I know! 

Next Saturday, at 11 a.m., I will be presenting a speech to my classmates. I will be telling them goodbye, some of them for the last time.  When I come to the thought that there are some people that I will never see again, it makes me sad.  Then I think about the underclassmen that I know and love as my friends.  I'll probably never see them again after I leave for college.  

I always thought it'd last forever.

I always thought I'd stay friend with those people forever.

I never thought it through to this point.

Job

I had a nifty job interview today.

Dressed up and everything! (I looked lovely!)

I think (almost positive) that I got the job.

So I'm celebrating. hehe.

Dreams.

I've been having dreams lately that I don't really remember, but there is a certain piece that keeps repeating itself in every dream that I have. Not a even a thing, it is a someone. It's is a guy, I'm supposing around my own age. He is never near enough to talk to, but he's always there, close to where I am. In no way in my dreams do I feel threatened him, I actually feel quite comforted.

So the guy is tall, (and skinny) around 6 feet. He had very short dark brown hair, and his eye color is like a grey/blue . He is always wear glasses, (black, top rimmed).  He's usually very happy. 

The funny thing about him, is that he is always wearing a white t-shirt with a pair of worn out jeans that have quite a few tears in them.  He never has shoes on, and follows me in bare feet. 

The only other odd thing is that he is always drinking a glass of milk.

tickle fights have been postponed.

At least for a little while! The reason being because I have recently gotten my bellybutton (or navel!) pierced.  While it hurts like a bastard right now, I am pleased with it.  It's cute, but I need to lose some weight if I want anything to look spectacular. I'm not supposed to swim for 6 to 8 weeks, but fuck that shit. I'll swim when I want D:

(On the other hand, a tickle fight seems to be exactly what I need right now. Or something to laugh about! I can't stand this week!)

To be frank...

I have eleven days of high school left. 

I go to college orientation Sunday.

I graduate? So soon? 

I just started senior year, and this isn't even fair!

Besides that fact that I'm going to make empty promises to keep in touch with most people, there are a few that I do want to keep contact with.

like, my close friends.

To be frank (pun intended!)

The only high school friend I would really care about losing contact with is Ms. Teaka Frank.

Memorial day? xD

I'm a nerd. 

I also get to ride in the super duper Memorial Day parade. Yay...

At least I get to wear my dress again. :3

those things that make me smile.

Actually having energy to do anything.

Waking up from a nap and not being more tired than I was before I napped.

Warmth from a campfire.

That crazy weird feeling before the drop from the largest "hill" on a roller coaster.

The feeling after surviving that roller coaster.

Getting a compliment when you really tried to look nice.

Sunglasses. 

Bonfires that last all night.

That first time in spring where it is warm enough for you to take your shoes off and feel the grass on your feet.

Really excellent hugs. (you know, those ones that make you feel good all over :3)

Thunderstorms.

Swimming. All day. Every day of summer.

blah. blah. blah. 

I fell in love with the most amazing boy, ever.

It is certainly crazy to think that almost a year ago, I "met" the person I am now madly in love with.

(of course, I really met him a loooong time ago, when we were both much younger. Which is to be expected in a small town, no?)

I could not ask for anyone better, and he's such a sweetheart!
It makes me entirely happy to know that I'm his. It's quite wonderful.

I'm full of smiles. It amazes me, sometimes.
Hmmm.

Positive?

Today has not been positive at all today.

I woke up with a killer headache that only preceded to get worse throughout the day.

It got slightly better during gym, which makes no sense, but whatever. 

I'm pretty sure I failed my calc test today, because I generally have no idea what I'm doing.

Art sucks.

ACE Comp II sucks.

Gym usually sucks.

bleck.

I need more sleep.

Blegh

Driving sucks my energy, and I'm not really sure why.

But I'm tired as hell from driving to Wilpo and back today.

Got to spend some time with Amy though, and that was nice.

Eck. I'm just in one of those moods were I want to snuggle down in my bed and sleep forever without any regard to anyone.

In better news, I got my cap and gown today. Graduation is only 26 days away!

Hmm.

I can blog in school.

Well, this is new.  Now I can blog in school and not worry about blogging at home. That's pretty nifty.  I can't post any pictures of course, but it is what it is.

I'm in ACE Comp II right now, and I should be reading "In Cold Blood" by Truman Capote.  It's a pretty interesting book, and for sure a good read.  It's a non-fiction fiction, if that makes any sense.  It's about a murder, that actually happened in Holcomb, Kansas. Capote uses all of the facts from the murder but adds more on to the actual facts.  

I guess I should also be working on my next essay, but I pretty much do not want to.  We're doing a compare/contrast essay, but it is not as easy as it sounds.  We have to compare and contrast two literary works...academically.  Phew! It is due Monday, or at least a peer edit. Blah blah blah. I know what I'll be doing this weekend!

It's official now, Ryan and I are running for Mr. and Mrs. Williamson. Need a slogan though...

Watkins and Belz...ringing in the end of the year!

Nope, maybe. Who knows.

I'll think of something!

Senior Trip: Photo Bombardment!

Kayaking for the first time ever. Great time, one thing I'd love to do more!

Just a group of senior girls, eh?

Awkward Allison is awkward..

Best friend and I at the beach. (Of course I had to be in my bathing suit because I couldn't get enough of the ocean!)

Ocean time at the pier. Could have a thousand more days like this and be happy.

Concert. :')

Hi, I'm Allison. I got all dressed up for my last high school chorus concert tonight! It is sad, that I'll be leaving this tiny town and never once singing in Williamson High School's chorus again. 

Sad sad sad day.

On the bright side, I had a teeny tiny solo in "Bridge Over Troubled Water", which was cute-ish.

Not to mention I looked cute-ish.  I mean, besides the picture above, but you've got to have a little silly to be happy in life.

Funniest Moment

I didn't mention that the funniest time for me on senior trip happened with a friend of mine, Alexis, at Six Flags: America in Maryland. 

Not seeing the sign, we walked straight in.

Straight in to the men's bathroom!

Oh my goodness, it was so funny!

Luckily, we got out before we saw anything or were spotted by more than two people.

Hehehe.

Senior Trip.

Beautiful sunrise over the ocean at Nags Head, North Carolina.  This is the morning when we left, and although you can't see them, there were dolphins (or as I like to pronounce it "dullfins") splashing and playing in the water.

I had the great pleasure of spending time with 44 other seniors at the many places we went! Tons and tons and tons of fun!  This was my first time actually being at the ocean, swimming and fishing and all sorts of other things.  I can't say that I didn't enjoy it, because it was the most amazing thing ever, and so beautiful!

We ate at a great place called Kelly's and the Pit Surf Shop.

(Yum!)

One of our seniors, Macory, broke the record at the Pit for 28 tacos. 

(I feel bad for whomever was in that room with him that night!)

We also went kayaking, which was the most fun ever! I enjoyed it, even though my shoulders didn't as much.  

Chilling at the beach in my...(get ready for the sarcasm) super sexy and lovely tankini.

There will be, for sure, more pictures to come!

Some mornings, this is exactly how I feel. (:

Photo bombardment!

Title Monster ate my title.

Prom was amazing, wonderful, and fun.  Everyone look spectacular and beautiful and whatnot!

I won Prom Queen, with a prom king sash :P

Cute story, and for sure an interesting memory.

Had the best prom, ever, no doubt.

Got to spend the night with my boy, which was amazing, and a whole other bunch of words.

I adored every moment of the entirety of prom night. Absolutely wonderful.

May 5th - Prom

Possibly the most exciting day of any high school's world.

Nails, hair, flowers, dancing, dresses, friends.

Poor boys! Ha!

Expect picture later, lots and lots of pictures.

Senior Prom is going to be amazing.

Prom night will be even better! 

<3

I love you.

Some people called you a dog. Just a dog. 

But you are so much more than that, I assure you.

You were my best friend when I was in fourth grade.

You were there as I grew up and moved from elementary to middle and then onto highschool.

You helped me through my parents divorce, and you helped me through my first heartbreak.

Sometimes I yelled at you, and I really wish I hadn't.

I didn't know that time with you would be ending so suddenly.

I thought maybe I'd have time to say goodbye. 

Time to cuddle with you more and time to run around with you when the weather got warm.

Time to give you baths outside and time to chase you down when you ran away.

You are a beautiful dog, a beautiful best friend. 

I love you unconditionally, forever. 

I don't want you to go. I don't want you to be gone from my life.

I want more time with you, and I want to see your healthy happy drooling dog face light up when I ask  you if you want to go outside.

I want to play tug o war with you a million more times.

I want to lay down by you a fall asleep a thousand more times.

I don't want you to go.

I love you, Windswept Rosebud. 

You're not just a dog, you're my family.

Thunder

Thunderstorms are the most beautiful thing nature ever produces, I think.  

They are enthralling, intoxicating, ominous and beyond gorgeous to listen to.

Thunder storms always remind me how small I am, especially in the grand scheme of things.

The sound thunder produces just rolls, and groans, and it's so natural.

I can go from being a complete bitch to being completely calm when there's a thunderstorm.

It's relaxing to sit out on my front porch and let the rain fall on my legs.

I sound like an idiot for being so infatuated with thunder, but I can't help it.

I want summer nights with thunderstorms.

I want to wake up in the humid air the next morning.

D'awh!

I love giraffes, I do.

They are so super adorable!

modest mouse!

Yes please.

forever and ever!

I drove slower today just so I could listen to their music blaring out of my shitty car's speakers.

I found it relaxing, almost to the point of falling asleep, but then I decided I didn't want to die while driving.

I was going to write something else, but I forgot.

Oh my,

Boy called me to tell me goodnight.

He's such a sweetheart.

and he made my night oh so much better.

Gosh.

the other side of my night is that I think I'm going into a Modest Mouse kick, and I honestly can't wait.

I love their fucked up lyrics more than anyone else's sometimes.

"And you realize that the floor sticks to your feet like history
Don't you look at me like life don't hold you any mystery
Bag of splinters boiling over, on your back expose your belly
Optimism doesn't change the facts, just what you're gonna see"

History Sticks to Your Feet"

Indecisive..

I can make decisions. I am completely capable of making my own fascinating decisions.

I'm not always indecisive when it comes to exactly what I want.

In fact, I usually quite know what I want; however, when the person that I am very much in love asks what I want to do, or what I want in general, I usually answer "I don't care, whatever you want."

I honestly only do this because I truthfully do not care what we do together, I'm happy doing whatever he's happy doing.

Just this.

thoughts and junk

Senior class things seemed to have calmed down again...

now I just have to write my speech, and that's going to be a bit nerve racking,

but so be it.

I'm terrified for graduation and moving to college,

for many reasons, of course.

1. I've lived in the same house for the entirety of my life.
2. I won't know anyone at college, at least for a few days.
3. I'm terrified people will think I'm weird or something.
4. I'm terrified that things will happen to my father while I'm gone.
5. I don't want to lose my best friend.
6. I'm scared to leave my mother behind.
7. other reasons that involve a certain someone. :l

I'm excited for college because..

1. I can do pretty much what I want without having to worry about my father's disapproval.
2. I get to meet new people.
3. I can explore new stuff! :D

errr.

Hmm.

This will be short and sweet, mostly because I do not have the words to describe how I'm feeling.

Uhm, well. Where to start?

I am terribly in love with the most gorgeous human being I know.

and, I don't think I could honestly be happier.

That's all.

<3 

Graduation!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I got my super cute graduation announcements today, and they are super duper awesome!

I'm quite pleased, because they don't look like anyone else's, and that's the way I wanted them.

Since I'm unique and shit.

behehehehe. :3

Grimace.

Grimace with the pain, my dear.

It's just another day, my dear.

It is quite a shame, I hear,

that you weren't born prettier.

Cut your hair and change you ways, my dear.

It's what we've all been saying, my dear.

before they all sneer,

at the way you appear.

Oh look at that smile, my dear.

so beautiful and perfect, my dear.

on the inside I bet you cheer,

my dear.

It is quite a shame, my dear.

you're life was so perfect, my dear.

Living like a barbie on this sphere,

but you jumped in front of a truck, I hear,

and on the road your body parts smear,

my dear...