Dear me, 1

You finally work on Sunday, after three weeks of being off; but, is it really worth 55 dollars to work 9 hours with snotty college kids? I think you need to find a better job. Too bad you're parents didn't conceive you a few months earlier, you could be a waitress, or better yet, work at the porn shop with your brother.

Well, money is money, and you shouldn't complain so much. You've got to make some money for whatever prom dress you're buying this year. And it won't be another $400. That was a bit much don't you think?

nine more

long days until I get to ignore tiny stabbing little pains on my side.
oooooo, I cannot wait! I certainly hope it turns out exactly as planned, or I'll cry.


Especially for $210, later!
I'll post a picture as soon as I get it. It will be epic.

Underworld - Awakening 3D.

yes, I strongly reccomend this, to everyone. Go, see.
It is pure awesomeness. :3




p.s. if I were a Lesbian, whatever her name is, she'd be mine.
nom nom.

Update on Drexel.

Haven't been accepted, haven't been denied.
I've been put on the waiting list because my math and reading scores together were 10 below what they wanted. At least I wasn't denied, not yet! There is still a tiny little glimmer of hope, like that little piece of glitter in a pile of poo. I suppose it is a good thing I have two back up colleges.

At least one good thing, I have 15 days until my tattoo! That makes me incredibly excited, and thus will start my life long affair with tattoos <3

Hurt, disappointment, pain.

I know that you love me, and I love you, too. But you should know that what you do to yourself hurts me much more than it hurts you. I'm here for you now, I've come back for you, to get to know you better, to get the connection that my 11 year old self broke. And you do this? I know that sometimes you only focus on the bad, we all do it, but mom, you've got me and my brother now. I only want you to be here, for the big things in my life, like my graduation, and me going off to college. Ryan only wants you to be there for him too.

I never needed you before, but now that you are in my life, I need you more than ever. I feel like, when you do this, you don't really care that I'm here trying to get back my mother. I know you're an alcoholic, but shouldn't the good things in your life outweigh the bad? You're going to damage the relationships you have if you keep focusing on the bad.

You told me today that you and Tony were done, and I was disappointed, because I knew how much he made you happy. I don't want to lose you again, Mom. I'll try to be strong, and I'll try to stay, but it's going to be really hard if I can't see you much anymore. I love you, you need to get better.

For you, not for me. Not for Ryan. You've got to want to be a better person, and I'm not sure you want that like you say you do.

I thought about you, today.

I thought about you today, well, memories of you. They made me cry a little, and smile a little.
I got over it, after Canada then reminded me to look at myself now and look at myself then. I always forget how much better things are now, at least, for the most part.

Also, the more time passes in this year, the more I think I'll be attending Alfred State. It's not a bad college; although, it will be extremely cold. Maybe I'll learn to love the cold. (Doubted.)

Senior Class stuff seems to be clearing up again, after another mess and another outraged Ryan and Ms. H. Phew! (: Things are looking up again, toodaloo :3

EEEEEE!

February 4th creeps closer and closer! And with that I only get more excited!
Whomever reads this, you have no idea how happy I am about finally gettin' some ink!

On another note, I didn't do my spanish homework. Oops. (:

All I do is win.

Once again, I'm proud to say that I placed first in my category for Region 7 competition for FBLA [Future Business Leaders of America!]. My category was Hospitality Management, which is almost a brand new category, only being created and competed in last year. Of course, I was anxious and on the edge of my seat during the name calling, and of course I freaked out when they called second place and my names still hadn't been said. Same thing as last year!

I'm being joined in states by six other people, which is very exciting! So, our percentage was 50% taken to states. If you ask me, that's pretty darn good!

Anyway, that's all for now. (:

D:

Hack my accounts again you dumb immature fucks.

Good News?

random fact: Once, while looking up Mexican recipes, I looked up Mexican drugs without realizing what I had typed. Needless to say, I laughed a bit.

And here's the good news! I cannot remember if I had acknowledged the fact that I had been accepted to Alfred State of Technology for Architecture, and also been accepted to Hartwick University for art. But I did indeed! The only other letter I am waiting on is Drexel. I want more than anything else right now to be accepted into the school. And if I do, I might cry.

That's it for now, I think! :3

I'll hold my head high.

Your words are mean, there is no doubt about that.
But my heart is stronger, stronger than you'd ever imagine.
and my smile? Will shine brighter than you've ever seen.

You've got nothing against me.
Hit me with what you've got.
I'm not afraid anymore.