First Semester.

It is almost the end of my first semester in college and I have to say that it is certainly not what I expected.

The classes are not as hard as I was told they would be.

The social scene is not what I thought it would be (but then again, I go to a very small, private college).

but I've made a few good friends that are really great.

I lucked out on my roommate and that was something I was really concerned about.

My relationship with my boyfriend back home hasn't fallen apart, and I'm grateful for that, everyday.

My relationship with my parents is less stressed than it used to be, and that is also something I am thankful for.

I have also conjured a relationship with the lady who cleans Anderson everyday.

I only see her every other day, but I always stop to talk to her.

She is incredibly sweet and always talks about the weather.

She hates snow.

Her name is Mina, but I'm not sure how you would pronounce it.

(Meeeena? or Miiina)

Either or, I like her very much.

I have taken to drinking my coffee with creamer and hardly ever drink it black anymore.

I always feel like my Econ professor is always directing most of his conversation and lecture to me.

Maybe it's because I hold eye contact instead of being distracted.

Or maybe it's because he thinks I look odd.

We'll never know.

I think I may have a slight case of overachievement issues.

For example, today, I have an art history quiz that I would be able to skip, because she throws out your lowest grade. (in essence, you can take the first five and skip the sixth without it hurting your grade) 

My lowest grade is a 18 and a half out of 20.

Which is a 92.7? or 92.5.

Either way, that's pretty decent.

But I thought, if I could do just a little bit better on my last quiz, I could throw out that other one.

In other news, there is a dance show called Orchisis going on in Slade Theatre that I have to set up for and I'm also looking quite forward to seeing the show. It's free, so I might as well, you know?

Seems like I need to post more often so my posts aren't quite so long.

Going out?

Sure.

sunshine.

Today, I took the chance and sat outside for a bit because it is absolutely gorgeous out.
There is sunshine and it's mildly warm.

It makes me miss summer.
and reminds me that I don't want winter to come.

You.

There are times that I look back and wonder how in the world I got to be with you.

The beginnings of our relationship are like a dream to me.  Fuzzy moments and moments of happiness.  

Some parts were like nightmares, I was confused and not sure where to go or what I wanted.

And yet, out of everything, I seem to have no recollection of how I came to be with you in such a short time.

It is no lie that I wanted you from the beginning.

I mean, I really wanted you.

I think part of that was fear of being alone.

and other parts were part of wanting a rebound.

but most of it was the fact that I really liked you.

for a lot of reasons.

You're smart and funny.

and gorgeous beyond all means.

Besides that,

things and time have moved so fast.

Sometimes it feels like I just met you, at that party.

and sometimes it feels as if I've known you for ages. 

I've loved almost every minute of it. 

Of us.

I used to wonder if a relationship that started the ways ours did can really make it.

can really develop into something more than lust and longing.

But it can, and we do. 

We just work together for some unknown reason.

Somehow, I found you.

even under circumstances that may have not been great.

and I'm glad for that.

I have my moments..

I've never been happy with my body. 

There is just so much that could be different and better.

I've dreamed and dreamed and dreamed of being perfect that I often lose track of what really matters.

I always forget that healthy is good and too skinny is bad. 

I always want to strive for the too skinny.

I want that. 

I don't want to be an average weight.

Fuck.

I used to wonder

I used to wonder where the hell I fit in to all of this crazy mess that people call life.

and I've recently realized that there are three types of people in this world.

Those who need acceptance. (they try to damn hard)

Those who naturally fit in. (a seemingly natural people person)

and people like me, who usually just float. (usually.)

I don't have a place. I don't have a select "clique"

I like people who are nice

they don't have to like the same things.

they don't have to have the same views.

I'm just a floater.

I go along with whomever is around at the time.

I'm friends with anyone who would like to be friends.

and... I guess there is nothing wrong with being a floater.