So bored

Physics of everyday objects is boring me to sleep. Good thing tomorrow is my last day of class and tomorrow I will be home. Can't wait.

It seems almost official.

I've been absolutely stressed out of my mind lately.

I can't sleep. I have a constant headache because I can't sleep. I can't pay attention because I have a constant headache because I can't sleep. I'm sure you get the picture I'm paiting here.

I need a good stress reliever and very very soon.

I learned today that I would only need a high 80 on the final exam for my physics to get an "A", so at least that is some good news.

On the other hand, I find it saddening that next semester will be my last at Hartwick and it is breaking my poor little heart. I love it so much here and I can't imagine leaving to go to Mansfield.  I mean, I miss home all the time and I miss my family, friends and my boyfriend, but missing Hartwick is also going to suck.

On the positive side of things, I'll be closer to home and probably actually living at home. 

I desperately hope that it doesn't mess up any of my relationships (i.e. boyfriend, father, mother, friends)

I'll be able to actually have a job.

I won't have to be so lonely.

I might be able to be more social.

On the downside?

I'm going to be that girl who moves back home because she can't afford to go to the college that she really likes and really doesn't want to leave. It's not that I'm struggling or anything like that, I just can't see myself being able to support myself finacially after college with 22k of student loans a year that will double with interest. 

This situation just all kind of sucks. 

Those Odd Things About Me.

Ever have those things that are completely normal to you but completely fucking weird for other people?

(who are you kidding, of course you do.)

Most aren't usually anything others would notice if they weren't close to you in any way.  Some make you come off like a conceited or self absorbed person.  Some make you look like you are absolutely the biggest nerd in this universe.  

I have a few and they are very... odd things about me:

• In a public bathroom, I will choose the second stall every time (circumstances allowing)
• I will say sorry after almost everything if I feel that I am making you go out of your way. (Tonight, some man held a door open for me and instead of saying "thank you" I said "I'm so sorry.")
• I have the tendency to look at myself very often. Not because I'm infatuated with myself, but because I have constantly feel the need to make sure I don't have some alien like pimple growing on my head.

What are Great Moments?

My roommate and I were talking about our relationships with our boyfriends, both whom live away from us while we live together at college.  While talking, she said that there weren't many "great moments" anymore with them and that most of the time they fought.

I thought about it for a moment and then asked her what she meant by "great moments."  Her response was that, to her, great moments were the fun times when they were doing something together besides just sitting or laying around.  

But, what are great moments? 

To me, in my relationship, great moments are where we can sit and lay around with each other;

(although, it is nice to do something once in awhile, I'll agree with my roommate.)

where he can show me what he's been doing on minecraft while I've been away;

where I get to be big spoon;

where talking about the future isn't scary, but something to look forward to;

where I get to try something new because of the relationship (even if, at first, I am a big cry baby because I'm no good at it. *cough cough* snowboarding *cough*);

where we fight but eventually work it out.

My "great moment" in my relationship?

I get to go home to someone who makes me happy and I think that is incredible. 

Dreary

It has been my first whole day back at Hartwick and I'm pretty sure that I'm already homesick.

I spent three amazing weeks at home.

thee amazing weeknights where I got to sleep next to the person I adore the most.

Then I had to be ripped away so I could come back to college for a month.

asdfjkl;

The only reason it is so frustrating is becuase I really don't mind the classes.

I just really hate sleeping alone.

It is so cold and lonely and restless.

I already miss cuddling.