My goodness, I'm pathetic.

Charmanders are red. Squirtles are blue. If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Your smile is stronger that of a Hyperbeam. Like Jesse and James, we make the perfect team. I'll stay by your side like Pikachu and Ash. I'll love you more than a level 80 Rapidash. You're more legendary than a Zapados, Entei, or Mew.But out of all 450 I choose you.

There's like 600 now, but it is of no matter! (<3)

AWE :'3

Mystery Meat

As I'm eating my pathetic dinner tonight, which is ravioli's in sauce, and I'm wondering what kind of meat they use. Then I realize that I have no idea what kind of meat I could be eating, or even what part of the animal I'm eating. Truth is, I really just don't want to eat a cow's rectum, or a pig's brain, and I certainly don't want to eat anything human.

#disgusted

Valentine's Day!

So, today was as bad as expected, but it could have been worse. It's my first Valentine's Day that I was single in awhile and all, but my bestfriend was lovely and made up for it <3 She brought me a stuffed giraffe, and some pops. I also got the sweetest poem from a boy that I've gotten in a long time. Super, duper cute. Plus a rose! (Two more to add to the collection since I dry and keep all roses.)

Ah. Mock Trial is tomorrow, and I am a lawyer. We shall see how this goes, and hopefully, I don't mess it up terribly like I expect.

[If you expect the worst, you'll either be pleasantly surprised or just right.]

Bestfriend Promise:

Here lies a promise that I will never break,

I will stand by you, and love you, and dry your tears when you cry.

I will never let someone off easy after making you feel like shit,

and I will do my best to make you smile when you frown.

I promise to mentally break the nose of any guy who breaks your heart without reason,

and I promise to always listen when you have words to say.

I also promise to never add salt to the French Toast, again.

I promise to laugh with you about the silly things that happen.

I hereby promise to play Zumba with you,

even if I feel stupid while doing so.

(because you and I both know that I can't move my hips in any way and make it look good)

I always promise to be your best friend, no matter how much time,

or distance life has put between us.

Hopefully some artful inspiration today!

I get to go see Sebastian and Melissa in Mansfield today, and that makes me excited. Maybe I'll stop to see Chelsea, and maybe get her to go horseback riding. Today should be a good day, no? (:

Just some art.

Whoop.

So, the Calc test I've been worried about wasn't hard. Pretty sure I only missed one little part. Comp II still sucks, but I've gotta write, I guess. I'm pretty excited! I get to go see someone today, and that will hopefully make me smile! (:

Ahhhhhh. It's the weekend<3

Dear me, 3

Really? Stop giving a damn about what other people think. You are who you are, and if you're happy with that, then others don't matter. You've got to realize that other people who talk shit are people who are jealous. Focus more on the people who lift you up, not bring you down.

Damn. We've gone over this before.

Tattoo = love.

Well, there it is, credit to Carl Hesse! I love it, besides the pain. It's gorgeous. (:
Don't mind the chub (winter has been harsh!), or the tape marks!

Calling:

I'm calling you down; out of your dreams,
I'm calling you down, closer to me.
Not knowing where you went, I cried out for you.
There was not an answer, just the deepest shade of night.

There isn't much to say,
not today, anyway.
rhyming sucks.
I don't like poems.
Fuck.

!%#@$

and many other choice words! My tattoo artist's exact words were "Even I'm not stupid enough to get my side tattooed." Damn. That hurt! But, it was worth it, I think. Another week, and I'll be good and healed. And, luckily, I had one of my friends there to distract me from the pain of it.

There is one thing I've learned: I prefer outlining, not coloring. EVEN MORE OUCH!


Ahh, happy day.

Tomorrow.

It's so terribly close, and yet, so far away. Freaking out? Yes. Considering not getting it done? No.

It's going to hurt very badly. Silly me for choosing my rib cage to be tattooed.

Dear me, 2

I know it, you're dying to get out of this town, and away from here. The boys here are either all taken, gay or druggies with no life. There's got to be something out there that has better options than this tiny little town. Just remember, college isn't too far away! Just... a horrifying 5 more months until you can be freed of this place. Well, technically, about 7. But you'll be 18 in about 5 months, and that's pretty pointless. UHG.

Dear me, 1

You finally work on Sunday, after three weeks of being off; but, is it really worth 55 dollars to work 9 hours with snotty college kids? I think you need to find a better job. Too bad you're parents didn't conceive you a few months earlier, you could be a waitress, or better yet, work at the porn shop with your brother.

Well, money is money, and you shouldn't complain so much. You've got to make some money for whatever prom dress you're buying this year. And it won't be another $400. That was a bit much don't you think?

nine more

long days until I get to ignore tiny stabbing little pains on my side.
oooooo, I cannot wait! I certainly hope it turns out exactly as planned, or I'll cry.


Especially for $210, later!
I'll post a picture as soon as I get it. It will be epic.

Underworld - Awakening 3D.

yes, I strongly reccomend this, to everyone. Go, see.
It is pure awesomeness. :3




p.s. if I were a Lesbian, whatever her name is, she'd be mine.
nom nom.

Update on Drexel.

Haven't been accepted, haven't been denied.
I've been put on the waiting list because my math and reading scores together were 10 below what they wanted. At least I wasn't denied, not yet! There is still a tiny little glimmer of hope, like that little piece of glitter in a pile of poo. I suppose it is a good thing I have two back up colleges.

At least one good thing, I have 15 days until my tattoo! That makes me incredibly excited, and thus will start my life long affair with tattoos <3

Hurt, disappointment, pain.

I know that you love me, and I love you, too. But you should know that what you do to yourself hurts me much more than it hurts you. I'm here for you now, I've come back for you, to get to know you better, to get the connection that my 11 year old self broke. And you do this? I know that sometimes you only focus on the bad, we all do it, but mom, you've got me and my brother now. I only want you to be here, for the big things in my life, like my graduation, and me going off to college. Ryan only wants you to be there for him too.

I never needed you before, but now that you are in my life, I need you more than ever. I feel like, when you do this, you don't really care that I'm here trying to get back my mother. I know you're an alcoholic, but shouldn't the good things in your life outweigh the bad? You're going to damage the relationships you have if you keep focusing on the bad.

You told me today that you and Tony were done, and I was disappointed, because I knew how much he made you happy. I don't want to lose you again, Mom. I'll try to be strong, and I'll try to stay, but it's going to be really hard if I can't see you much anymore. I love you, you need to get better.

For you, not for me. Not for Ryan. You've got to want to be a better person, and I'm not sure you want that like you say you do.

I thought about you, today.

I thought about you today, well, memories of you. They made me cry a little, and smile a little.
I got over it, after Canada then reminded me to look at myself now and look at myself then. I always forget how much better things are now, at least, for the most part.

Also, the more time passes in this year, the more I think I'll be attending Alfred State. It's not a bad college; although, it will be extremely cold. Maybe I'll learn to love the cold. (Doubted.)

Senior Class stuff seems to be clearing up again, after another mess and another outraged Ryan and Ms. H. Phew! (: Things are looking up again, toodaloo :3