Death and Destruction

My mother called me again tonight.

I have almost lost hope for the woman, as days go by.

Tonight, my mother told me goodbye. 

And not goodbye as in "I'll see you tomorrow"

or "I'll see you in a month, after I get out of rehab",

but "goodbye, I'm going to kill myself."

and I honestly couldn't handle that.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I couldn't cry.

Speechless. Especially to think that life was so horrible for my mother that she would commit such a selfish crime against herself.

She hung up before I could tell her that I loved her.

Thankfully, she was picked up by the police and sent back to the hospital.

This time, with a security guard, because the last three times?

She signed herself out.

Alcoholism is a disease.

I'm beginning to realize that now.