"You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity."

To my very beloved boyfriend,

        You are nothing short of amazing, and you've given me the best relationship I could ever ask for.
There is nobody in this would who could of showed me what love can really be besides you.  Yes, it's true that we've had some bad and trying times, but we've always gotten through them.  The thing is, is that I love you as a person. Really, I love everything about you, even if some parts of you are quirky. You are funny and brilliant. Handsome, of course. But that's not even the beginning of where my love starts for you.  No matter how bad of a mood I am in, you find a way to cheer me up. You are a genuinely good person and you have an amazing personality.  I never knew that a relationship between two people could be as strong as ours. In fact, I never knew I could these types of feelings for anyone.  Besides that, it always seems that the more time we spend together, the more I fall in love with you (and I didn't think I could fall in love with you anymore the previous day.)  I feel like, just maybe, you were my life saver tossed to me in the middle of the sea of confusion I was swimming in.  I do not know where I would be without you today.  I used to think that I knew what love was, that I had loved others before you.  Maybe I had loved others, but literally not in the way that I adore you.  I hope you know that. I am so lucky to have you as my boyfriend. As a friend. I'm just lucky to know you.  Honestly, I hope that I get to be someone whom you spend your life with. I want to go through all of the good times, all of the bad times and all of the really shitty times with you. I love you, even when we fight, even when I think you're being stupid, because it's you.  I don't want anyone else, because I don't think anyone else could make me feel the way you do.

                                                                                                                 Forever yours,
                                                                                                                  xoxo

My adventure with you is incredible.

I am sorry that I am so incredibly jealous sometimes. 

I do love you and I do trust you. 

Angel - Jack Johnson

I love love love this song. <3 p="">

Someone once asked if I could spare a little change for gas

I need to get myself away from this place

I said yep, what a concept

I could use a little fuel myself

and we could all use a little change.

-All Star, Smash Mouth

 

I just don't understand.

If someone is in a relationship, you leave them alone.

Especially if you know that thier girl doesn't like you.

and I dont't understand what other people don't understand about that.

I mean, the same goes for people in the relationship too.

If your girlfriend or boyfriend doesn't like a person,

you don't talk to them.

I mean, I'm guilty as charged, but I finally bucked up and stopped talking and seeing a person completely for the sake of a relationship.

and I've stayed away from good friends because of thier girls not liking me.

I respect that.

and besides, why would you keep doing something that causes problems in your relationship in the first place?

Today.

I always find it fascinating to review my thoughts and actions for the day I've had.

This is usually during my shower time (which is very shory, considering the dorm I live in and the shared bathroom I'm forced to use.)  Today's mood was anywhere from content, unhappy, bored, seriously upset to happy.  

That's an odd combination, I know.

Today's activities included:  Financial Accounting stress; eating delicious taco salad for lunch (still counts as a salad...right?);doing arms and legs in an overcrowded gym; kicking around a soccer ball with my roommate; running around from theatre to theatre finding a jig saw; cutting a two violin shapes with the jigsaw; dinner (That was unhealthy); getting in a fight and finally, making up.

That pretty much sums up my day. 

It's always interesting how so many things can be connected.

by one person.

because of a decision.

If I would have never came to Hartwick, I would have never been working in the theatre department (at least I don't think so) and I would probably have never used a jig saw or a table saw, or any other tool in the theatre shop.

Anger and despair

WIP

Finished peice.  I enjoy this sketch quite immensely!  First I've done in awhile that has turned out decent.

The woman with warm hair is anger

and the woman with cool hair is despair/sadness.

I was tired of a regular page, so I split it up. 

I hope to do more like this in the future. :D

If you're Audrey Hepburn, I'm James Dean.

"They say that love is forever, your forever is all that I need. Please stay as long as you need."

Look at my wrists, do you see any scars?

Does that mean I'm not damaged, does that means I'm unharmed?

I look like I'm happy.

I look like I'm charmed.

My fake smiles have

labled me wrong.

Look at my wrists, do you see any scars?

Does that mean I'm damaged, does it mean I'm harmed?

I hold my emotions

away from my body.

Leaving my feelings

completely unarmed.

Look at these wrists, there aren't any scars.

Does this make me normal, does this not make me marred?

They think I'm fine

They assume I'm great.

but does nobody know,

the troubles that chase?

Look at my smile, there isn't any grief.

Does that make me happy, does it give you belief?

Mhm.

Sometimes life is unexpected.

Sometimes love is unexpected.

Sometimes everything is a little unexpected and every little thing can change you.

in some way, somehow.

I'm not sure why you came into my life.

but you have changed my life in so many little unexpected ways.

and I love that.  

You are absolutely incredible in every sense of the word.

I cannot wait to get to spend every day with you.

Even if some days it might only be a few hours.

You make my everyday better,

even if I don't act like it.

I hope that I don't ever take you for granted,

because you deserve someone who adores you

every day of your life.

I love you.

Universe

I walk looking around like an empty

box or an old book,

with a scratched 

cover.

People look past me because I don't 

appear brilliant, or

fun.  I don't look

happy.

They assume I have nothing

to say, because

I'm a little scratched on

the surface,

but that's not true 

at all.  

I have a lot to 

say,

on the inside, I am

bright and full

of words that you couldn't

understand

because you are too 

shallow to look 

past my outside to 

see

my insides

show a different tale,

I feel like a million

shining lights

sparkling and

glistening.

Maybe there is a whole

universe

just waiting to 

be discovered by 

someone who isn't afraid to

look past my 

damages.

I really want to be healthy

Being sick all the time always sucks.

I absolutely hate it and it only adds onto my stress level at college.  It'd be great to not be ailed with some sort of disgusting cold, infection or virus.

The worst part is, is that I try to stay healthy and I even try to eat decently.

I haven't been taking vitamins like I should be, but should it really make that big of difference?

I am just finding it increasinly hard to actually go work out because I am constantly fighing off sinsus infections, head colds and overtiredness.  

Snow.

My feet are cold and it chills me, so much that I get goosebumps engulfing my body.
It's miserable and so am I, especially after I slosh through brown slush that used to be pure white snow.
Snow was the answer to my day.
When it first fell into place, it was beautiful, white and pure.
nothing harmful in something filled with beauty.
How can there be?
But snow has a secret.
Snow is dangerous.
and if you tread enough,
eventually,
it turns into a slushy, sloshy angry mess,
that with one wrong step,
can ruin your day.

With two wrong steps,
you can recieve an annoyed look,
from your german class neighbor,
and then be promptly left alone,
in the corner,
to your own devices.
meanwhile, the only person
who even considers talking to you
is your instructor.
And this she does
purely out of pity.

Yes, snow can be dangerous.
tread too much because
you think you're happy
and your pure white joy
turns to a brown slosh
of a miserable day.

Ocean.

How could you not want to swim in this?

Someday, someday.

Just one of those days..

The instant I woke up this morning I was clearly informed by my body that it was definitely not my day.  This was due to the fact that I had woken up four times to run to the bathroom and when my alarm went off, I was still feeling sick.  

Add to the "bad day" equation a day full of cramps, headaches and snobby football players that have decided to make my German class their fun time.  Fast forward to work where I was working with liquid latex. Now, this normally wouldn't bother me... but nobody informed me that liquid latex was impossible to get out of clothing until I actually got some on my only pair of black skinny jeans. 

The only good thing about my day was the fact that the paper that I thought was due this Wednesday is actually due next Monday.

Happy Valentine's Day.

First, I want to say that my Valentine's Day, although spent alone without my valentine, was not too bad.

Secondly, I want to say that, Doug (if you're reading this), I adore you. I love you. I am amazed by you in many ways.  I always wonder to myself somedays oh how it came to be that I was paired with such an amazing, wonderful and loving person.  Our situation was always a little different that how I imagined I'd meet someone that I'd fall in love with but I'm glad that happened that way, because I wouldn't ask for it any other way.

I have truly never had the pleasure of expierencing such love from a person.  I'm thankful for you in every way.  I wouldn't trade our relationship for any other in the world.  <3 p="">